10. There is finally a reason to read the ticker at the bottom of the television screen.
9. Less traffic on the streets each Sunday afternoon.
8. Water-cooler talk at the office morphs into water-cooler chest-bumping.
7. Can better justify why the television covers an entire wall of the living room.
6. Snack food companies can introduce new flavors of their staple chips upon unsuspecting fans.
5. 2-hour long highlight shows.
4. Hides the fact Summer is over, Fall will soon be gone and Winter is on its way.
3. Get to find out if your favorite team’s No. 1 overall draft pick in 2014 is still on the roster.
2. Get to find out if you can still wear your replica jersey of your team’s No. 1 draft pick in 2014.
1. Did the NFL season ever really end?
10. “Real cranberry/not real cranberry” taste test
9. Pre-meal planning so you won’t have to sit next to that aunt
8. Loosen Your Waistband Post-Meal Grunt-Off
7. Driveway Arrival Time Parking Position Roulette
6. Correct Identification Of All Side Dishes Checklist
6a. Someone Made Side-Dish B When They Were Supposed to Make Side-dish C and Now We Have No
Side-Dish C At All and Twice As Much Side-Dish B Than Anyone Wanted
5. Trip Millage Travelled To Get There Comparison Harrumphing
4. Celebratory slicing of the first piece of pie
3. Who needs utensils when you can eat the olives right off your fingertips?
2. Graduation from the kids table to sitting with the adults
1. Doze-Off In Front of the Television Holiday Season Inauguration
13. It’s football season?
12. An entire football game = 3 to 4 hours. Highlight shows = 30 minutes.
11. Some cooking shows these days are really engaging
10. We were watching some commercials and a football game came on
9. Don’t need to watch the game, just need our fantasy numbers
8. Footballed-out from college football on Saturday
7. Madden 17
6. Binge watching entire series of zombies, nerds and superheroes
5. Not buying the NFL Ticket
4. Not going out somewhere to watch the game and spend money
3. The games totally interrupt our social media time
2. Not sitting at home to watch the regional broadcast of my terrible regional team
10. At least for a few hours, can be certain where both candidates will be
9. Always a great endorsement for a multi-party system
8. Can learn new and improved ways of not actually answering any direct question
7. Fairly certain the moderator will soon have his/her own political talk show (if they don’t already)
6. Learn very quickly the statement, “Your time is up” doesn’t actually mean that
5. Memorizing lines isn’t as difficult as we all thought
4. The other 147 cable channels available finally get a click-through viewing
3. Proof the fear we had of that public speaking class was totally unfounded
2. No commercial interruptions
1. The other 324 million of us don’t seem so bad
What This Is
Top Ten lists are compact, succinct, simple and exactly ten items in length (most of the time).