12. Cattepillar Hunters
11. Deadliest Sneeze
10. Bike Rack Wars
9.   Master Butter Churner
8.   Slapped
7.   Suburbanman
6.   My Right Of Way
5.   American Shingler
4.   Knit or Knot
3.   Property Mowers
2.   Toll Booth Tales
1.   Are You My In-Laws?

10. Is less obnoxious at parties than Barometric Pressure
9.   Holds up your cargo pants - no belt necessary
8.   You can see your breath, in the form of rain
7.   The local Doppler Radar can’t pick it up but your t-shirt can
6.   Makes walking into your house feel like you’re stepping into a blast freezer
5.   Able to use your low-beam headlights in the middle of the day throughout the entire summer
4.   Provides a portable water supply in your socks
3.   New sport: Walkswimming
2.   It gets up earlier in the morning than you do and you’re a go-getter
1.   At least it’s not the heat*

*(The editor apologizes for this. He explained his actions as something akin to, “dealing with fish in a barrel.”)

10.  Dyer lint
9.   Pencil shavings
8.   The weekly junk mail that stuffs up your mailbox
7.   Most of the disco albums in the 70's
6.   Most of the Cassingles from the 80's
5.   Cardboard toilet paper roll inserts
4.   Those cone-shaped drinking cups provided at some water coolers
3.   Phone books
2.   Most of the top 40 albums from the 90's
1.   Hard work