Top Tens.
10. Pole-vaulting over curbs and maybe trashcans
9. Poke wasps nests attached to your gutter to find out if it’s active or not 8. Raise it in class in lieu of your hand to get your teacher’s attention 7. Knock cobwebs from around the ceiling fan in your living room 6. Order your fast food lunch by just pointing at the menu boards behind the counter 5. A little 20 pound test line, a hook and some bait – fishing pole 4. That pair of socks you rolled up, dropped and they rolled under your bed, you can retrieve those now 3. Back-up pool cue 2. Shove it down your pants leg and walk like a pirate 1. Figure it out
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10. You coordinate your daily attire to match the phone's case.
9. You have to constantly GPS yourself to find out where you are. 8. On official holidays you allow it a little rest and some alone time on the couch. 7. While allowing your phone a little rest and some alone time on the couch during official holidays, you break out in cold sweats, close the doors and blinds and hope that nothing of any importance happens anywhere in the world - or at least no one posts a picture of their pet in bunny ears acting cute. 6. You have to constantly GPS yourself to find out what you are supposed to be doing. 5. Before you begin a face-to-face conversation with someone you use the phone's camera to perform a retina scan on the person, cross-referencing that information with your contacts list and verifying their identity before you speak to them. 4. You make sure the phone is closer to you than your fork when sitting down for a meal. 3. When someone asks you how you are doing, you check your Feelings/Moods/Current Disposition App before answering. 2. You refer to your phone as, "Sparky". 1. You are reading this post on your smart phone. |
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