There are annual drafts in the major sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, WNBA, etc.).
There are no annual drafts for any of the regular career/jobs that most of us find ourselves in.
There is something wrong with that picture (and the abject lack of signing bonuses).
I think an annual draft should be instituted for all (yes, all) workforce careers, both blue and white collar.
Break this process in slowly and begin next year with having a draft of CPA’s, for example.
Set up CPA draft headquarters in the lobby restaurant of a local Holiday Inn Express and get to it. The twenty top accounting firms in the country are represented. The top twelve or so recent CPA graduates from around the world (CPA-ing is global, people) are settled in the green room. The rest of the top CPA’ers are sitting at home next to their telephones waiting for a call - per usual. Put the first accounting firm on the clock and start the thing*.
Complete CPA profiles are presented via a large power-point presentation and simulcasted to the television audience. Accounting statistics are provided along with a complete profile of each accountant along with their likes/dislikes, color choices, city of residence preferences, size of firm most likely to be chosen, complete college performance including individual class breakdown/self-study and any independent work is included. Top reconciliation times are listed as well as average calculator key-punches per minute.
When a candidate is drafted, that candidate is presented with a striking company polo shirt, leather-bound day-planner complete with embossed company stationery, an active parking pass and key to the one break room housing the one refrigerator in the office that actually keeps beverages and lunches cold. A minute or two for pictures and hugs from parents is allowed before the next firm is put on the clock. Repeat until all twenty accounting firms have made their selections. Firms needing a large incoming class of newbies will be able to partake in additional draft rounds. The draft should last no longer than six rounds and take up no more than two days to complete. Television coverage by Bloomberg, Wall Street Journal or HGTV will be provided.
Key in all of this is the same sort of tiered salary structure in place in major professional sport league drafts. The top three draft choices command the largest salaries, with the first overall pick garnering the largest of all. Picks four through ten earn the next largest with the salaries grading out in a similar fashion throughout each round. Signing bonuses, company perks, stock options, living arrangements, moving expenses, cars and boats (depending on a firm’s geographical region) can all be included in the compensation package offered to the draft choices. The complete salary of the draft choice will be made known at point of signing as will the entire compensation bundle. Rest assured, everyone in attendance and watching on television will be aware substantial goodies are being negotiated
This all seems obvious to me.
Once this process is put in place for all employment and career avenues, job creation will happen and more young people will become motivated to be a vital part of the work force and find a deeper purpose in their lives.
And for us CPA fans, we get to know about actual accounting firms like never before and take an interesting them. Soon we will wear their company hats (dress code approved) and might even score a straight, office replica work-week-worn polo. Before we know it we will be pouring over the financial pages keeping up with our favorite firms and even our favorite CPA’s we have followed since their draft day - to make sure that Mazda 3 the firm threw at them was worth it after all.
What a draft could do the field of Animal Husbandry is off the charts.
*(This being the first year of the CPA Draft, no draft order can be set among the top twenty accounting firms based on performance/lack of performance, so the over-sized Bingo number machine was used in a slightly televised event that determined, randomly, the year’s draft order. Much chagrin was had by the firms left with the lower draft choices and muffled protests and quickly drafter letters that the fix was in have already been heard and received by the commissioner’s office, which, if anyone can locate it, will be responding before the fiscal year begins.)
It’s the middle of summer and most of us are sweltering in the heat, but the Boys of Summer keep going at it anyway.
Has anyone noticed?
Major League Baseball just held its annual All-Star game.
As usual the game showcased all of the game’s stars and most of the game’s stars that fans most wanted to see. The American League won the game 3-0 in a contest that most people, and especially sports and baseball experts, are calling boring and dull. I have a few words for those experts and commentators but won’t go into that here. I won’t go into all of that here because I do not have any respect for any of the baseball and sports experts as far as baseball, and Major League Baseball is concerned.
Major League Baseball has faded into the shadows in the sports world in this country for the past handful of years now. A good part of that is due to MLB’s marketing of its game, league and players. The other part of MLB’s slow demise in this country is due to the lack of coverage, discussion, promotion and upkeep by today’s sports media - that very same sports media that calls itself baseball and sports experts.
I have put together five reasons Major League Baseball should be gathering a lot more attention, coverage, discussion and excitement than it has this season. Read on and find out if you were even aware if this was all happening in this year’s MLB season:
5. Twenty-one of the league’s thirty teams are within ten games of leading their respective divisions.
21 out of 30. 70% of the league’s teams are within ten games of being in first place. This is a phenomenal percentage of teams well within distance to make a run at a division title.
4. Twenty-three of the league’s thirty teams are within ten games of a Wildcard.
23 out of 30. 77% of the league’s teams are within ten games of making the playoffs. This again is a tremendous percentage of teams well within distance of reaching a place in playoffs.
3. Division races are very competitive.
The AL East has four teams within seven games of first place. The fourth place team right now is the New York Yankees.
The AL Central has three teams within seven games of first place. The third place team right now is the Kansas City Royals. Right, the Royals.
The AL West has three teams within eight games of first place. Right now, the Oakland A’s and Texas Rangers are tied for first place. Right, tied.
The NL East has three teams with seven games of first place. Right now, both Philadelphia and Washington are sitting at exactly .500.
The NL Central has three teams within five games of first place. Right now, the Pittsburgh Pirates are in second place with a 56-38 record. Right, the Pirates.
The NL West has all five of it’s teams within 8.5 games of first place. Sadly, right now, only the Arizona Diamondbacks have a winning record.
2. The Pittsburgh Pirates are in position to earn their first winning season in 21 years.
The Pirates last winning season was in 1992.
1992 was the year the Atlanta Braves beat the Pirates in Game Seven of the National League Championship series: The Game Seven when the Braves’ Sid Bream chugged home all the way from second base with the winning run on Francisco Cabrera’s single in the bottom of the Ninth Inning with two outs. Bream scored the winning run just ahead of the throw form Pirate left-fielder and 1992 NL MVP, Barry Bonds.
It seems to have taken the Pittsburgh franchise over twenty years to recover from that series.
I have heard more talk about the resurgence of the Seattle Seahawks and Washington Redskins than I have about the Pirates and NFL training camp is only almost going to begin. The Seahawks went the Super Bowl in 2006 while the Redskins have not been there since 1992 - the same year the Pirates last posted a positive winning percentage - 21 years ago.
1. Detroit’s Miguel Cabrera is the reigning AL MVP and last year’s Triple Crown winner - and he is on pace to have even a better year this season.
Last year Cabrera ended with a batting average of .330, 44 home runs and 139 RBI. This year, at the All-Star break - through 95 games the Tigers have played, Cabrera owns a batting average of .362, 30 home runs and 95 RBI.
As a side note, in Cabrera’s six years with Detroit he holds a .328 batting average, has averaged 35.5 home runs and 115.5 RBI each season.
Why Cabrera is not a superstar in the sports media and doesn’t have his face and/or jersey all over billboards and products is beyond me. Maybe if he played for the Yankees he would be talked about. I have heard more about LeBron James offseason than I have heard about Cabrera’s current season.
I would bet you have not been aware of any of these five things happening in Major League Baseball as of the All-Star Break.
If you are a baseball fan, you might have had some idea of some of the standings in some of the divisions but I doubt anyone has spoken about just how competitive the league is across the board and just how many teams are in contention for division titles, wildcard spots and the playoffs. If you are a casual fan I would bet you had no idea the baseball being played this year in the MLB is at all this competitive; you probably are only aware the Derek Jeter came back for the Yankees and is now on the Disabled List again. I bet none of you knew the current six division leaders consisted of both the Oakland A’s and the Arizona Diamondbacks. It’s a slow news days for our renown baseball experts when the Yankees find themselves in fourth place.
It is obvious from just the facts above that Major League Baseball is having an excellent season in 2013. It is not your fault or my fault we have not been aware of the great things going on in our nation’s pastime. The sports and baseball experts plainly do not report or talk about any of this, they do not fill the airwaves we listen to and watch with any of this. These same sports experts currently discuss NFL draft results, NFL 2013 schedules and outlooks along with NBA free agency and trades while choosing not to discuss Major League Baseball. They choose to discuss the topics they do because they say that you, the baseball fan and you the sports fan just are not interested in baseball - when in reality it is they themselves who are not interested in baseball.
This is a very blatant example of the media determining what media is important instead of doing what media is truly tasked to do and that is to simply report and cover the what is going in the world.
The question of whether or not if baseball game was played in the forest would anyone hear it can be answered as this: When no one in national sports media reports it, covers it or talks about it, it is just like the game never made a sound.
In their own small world the sports and baseball experts have worked to deny us the exposure and pleasure to what is a fine game that is having a very fine season.
Baseball fans, we have the ability to enjoy our favorite game without worrying about the proper care and promotion from the media at large.
Casual fans, you have the ability to enjoy a game that is as great, as skilled, as exciting and as competitive as it always has been without looking to the media powers that be to tell you so.
Now let’s all go chop down one of those trees in that forest and form a baseball bat from that good wood and play two in the back yard like all of us did during the summer when we were kids. Nobody from the media was there to cover us then, anyway….
(Note: This was written over the 2013 All-Star Break. All standings and statistics mentioned are to be understood as of that particular point in the MLB season.)
Stats provided by MLB.com
Exactly why does the world need a 1.5 liter bottle of soda?
When I was growing up we had available to us the very user-friendly and simple to handle 2 liter bottles. These were standard equipment in a home with growing teenagers (if the parents allowed them to have soda), stock supplies for getting together to watch a ball game and ever-ready if a party was being had for any reason. The 2 liter bottle of soda was as normalized a household good as a household good could get. If anyone in the house wanted soda, the command given was always understood to mean the 2 liter had to be fetched.
When I was out and around with friends and the fellas and we wanted a drink, we’d pick up a set of bottled soda usually of the 20 ounce variety and we would each get to drink one of our chosen flavors. Occasionally we’d snag a few sodas in 12 ounce aluminum cans if they happened to be the variety that were sold cold in the store we happened to stop at and we would forego the plastic 20 ounce selections that were sitting on the shelf at room temperature. I still remember when 20 ounce sodas were sold in glass bottles complete with a snazzy thin layer of styrofoam around the wide bottom of the bottle to help keep the contents cold.
Soon thereafter a gargantuan 3 liter model appeared in the stores in case we didn’t have enough soda in stock at the house inside those 2 liter bottles. These were especially handy for those get-togethers because you would buy only one 3 liter of a particular brand or flavor of soda and not have to buy two 2 liters of the same type. It was a pain to carry armfuls of 2 liters out of the car and into the house when each of you could easily carry two 3 liters easily and still have ability to haul the chips and dip. A 3 liter guaranteed there would be no shortage of soda and also kept your own stock of preferred soda style and flavor safe from the clutches of the other fellas.
So what is the reason for a 1.5 liter bottle of soda?
I have a few guesses:
A 2 liter bottle holds too much soda for one person, or two people, or three. You don’t want that extra .5 liters taking up shelf space. The 2 liter bottle demands too much room in your refrigerator.
I also have a few reasons for the existence of the 1.5 liter bottle of soda I am absolutely certain are not the reasons they are sold on store shelves these days:
The 1.5 liter bottle is a single-serving size for a solitary fan on game day. A proper daily allowance of soda measures 1.5 liters exactly (and not that dastardly 2 liters). The 1.5 liter bottles can be more easily formed into a safely transportable six-pack. 1.5 liters of soda can be safely consumed before the fizz wears off. 1.5 liter bottles fit perfectly inside the energy-saving refrigerators or today. Four out of Five mothers prefer the 1.5 liter size because groups of them go very well in their kitchens.
I jest, of course. I think…
I think there is a very pertinent and intentional reason behind the emergence of the 1.5 liter soda bottle.
They (this group of people will come up and then in these discussions though we don’t always ever get a really good look at them) don’t want us to drink that much soda.
More directly: They don’t want us to drink 2 liters of soda. At one time. In one sitting. In one get-together.
Here is a fact that all of us life-long soda drinkers know based on years and years of consuming soda from 12 ounce cans, 20 ounce bottles, huge 3 liter bottles and even the standardized 2 liter variety:
You don’t have to drink all of the soda at once.
Mothers and fathers are keenly aware of this. Parents were and are the people who have had to deal with the dilemmas of whether or not to store a 2 liter bottle of soda holding an inch and a half of soda in it or pour it down the drain. Parents are the ones who had to devise a way to combing two mostly empty 2 liter bottles of the same type of soda into one solitary bottle. Parents even sometimes had to resort to asking their children to come into the kitchen for a glass of soda at random times during the day or night so the bottle could be emptied out and thrown away and removed from taking up space and irritating Mom and/or Dad as they walked through the kitchen or rummaged in the refrigerator (this was before recycling really took off. Look away if you have to).
So what is being presented to us in the 1.5 liter soda bottle is regulated choice determined by someone else (one of those they people, maybe even a smaller group of them). Someone thinks you and I need only 1.5 liters of our preferred soda. If I think about it, the 3 liter bottles disappeared without a forwarding address quite a while ago. I’ll bet this small group of them whisked them away. It must be that they think they know what is best for our game days, hang out days and party beverage stock. I am glad someone is looking out for you and I. We might continue going around wasting soda otherwise. Or drinking too much of it all at once.
I haven’t the heart to tell them about the ounces, quarts and gallons of soda I poured out of my 12 ounce can, onto parking lot blacktop; the soda I dumped out of my 20 ounce bottles onto the grass after pulling over on road trips; the soda I poured out of 2 and 3 liter bottles straight down the drain in my mom’s kitchen because the fizz had worn off days before.
Sometimes I just did not want to drink an entire 12 ounces, 20 ounces or even finish the last few drops of what was 2 or 3 liters of soda. So I didn’t.
And I made that decision myself.
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