Everhat.com
Menu

WORDS.

It Needs To Get A Bit Drafty In Here

7/27/2013

0 Comments

 
There are annual drafts in the major sports leagues (NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL, WNBA, etc.).

There are no annual drafts for any of the regular career/jobs that most of us find ourselves in. 
There is something wrong with that picture (and the abject lack of signing bonuses).

I think an annual draft should be instituted for all (yes, all) workforce careers, both blue and white collar. 

Break this process in slowly and begin next year with having a draft of CPA’s, for example. 
Set up CPA draft headquarters in the lobby restaurant of a local Holiday Inn Express and get to it. The twenty top accounting firms in the country are represented. The top twelve or so recent CPA graduates from around the world (CPA-ing is global, people) are settled in the green room. The rest of the top CPA’ers are sitting at home next to their telephones waiting for a call - per usual. Put the first accounting firm on the clock and start the thing*.

Complete CPA profiles are presented via a large power-point presentation and simulcasted to the television audience. Accounting statistics are provided along with a complete profile of each accountant along with their likes/dislikes, color choices, city of residence preferences, size of firm most likely to be chosen, complete college performance including individual class breakdown/self-study and any independent work is included. Top reconciliation times are listed as well as average calculator key-punches per minute.

When a candidate is drafted, that candidate is presented with a striking company polo shirt, leather-bound day-planner complete with embossed company stationery, an active parking pass and key to the one  break room housing the one refrigerator in the office that actually keeps beverages and lunches cold. A minute or two for pictures and hugs from parents is allowed before the next firm is put on the clock. Repeat until all twenty accounting firms have made their selections. Firms needing a large incoming class of newbies will be able to partake in additional draft rounds. The draft should last no longer than six rounds and take up no more than two days to complete. Television coverage by Bloomberg, Wall Street Journal or HGTV will be provided. 

Key in all of this is the same sort of tiered salary structure in place in major professional sport league drafts. The top three draft choices command the largest salaries, with the first overall pick garnering the largest of all. Picks four through ten earn the next largest with the salaries grading out in a similar fashion throughout each round. Signing bonuses, company perks, stock options, living arrangements, moving expenses, cars and boats (depending on a firm’s geographical region) can all be included in the compensation package offered to the draft choices. The complete salary of the draft choice will be made known at point of signing as will the entire compensation bundle. Rest assured, everyone in attendance and watching on television will be aware substantial goodies are being negotiated

This all seems obvious to me.
Once this process is put in place for all employment and career avenues, job creation will happen and more young people will become motivated to be a vital part of the work force and find a deeper purpose in their lives.

And for us CPA fans, we get to know about actual accounting firms like never before and take an interesting them. Soon we will wear their company hats (dress code approved) and might even score a straight, office replica work-week-worn polo. Before we know it we will be pouring over the financial pages keeping up with our favorite firms and even our favorite CPA’s we have followed since their draft day - to make sure that Mazda 3 the firm threw at them was worth it after all.

What a draft could do the field of Animal Husbandry is off the charts.

*(This being the first year of the CPA Draft, no draft order can be set among the top twenty accounting firms based on performance/lack of performance, so the over-sized Bingo number machine was used in a slightly televised event that determined, randomly, the year’s draft order. Much chagrin was had by the firms left with the lower draft choices and muffled protests and quickly drafter letters that the fix was in have already been heard and received by the commissioner’s office, which, if anyone can locate it, will be responding before the fiscal year begins.)
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    What This Is

    Original articles.

    Categories

    All
    2012 13 NFL
    2014 NBA Finals
    2014 World Cup
    2017 MLB Season
    APBA Baseball
    Baseball
    Basketball
    Card Catalog
    Coca-cola
    College Basketball
    College Football
    Courtesy
    Cricket
    Crimea
    Cycling
    Destiny 2
    Football/soccer
    Guitarists
    Homework
    Life
    MLB
    Music
    Parking Apocalypse
    PlayStation Network
    Podcasts
    Predictions
    Pro Football
    Reviews
    Royal Birth
    Russia
    Shopping Carts
    Soda Bottles
    Sports Media
    Stan Musial
    Strat-o-matic Hockey
    Tabletop Sports Games
    Technolgy
    Ukraine
    Video Games
    Workforce Drafts

    RSS Feed

    A Mac writer using Scrivener
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Favorite Books
  • Favorite Sports Games
  • Favorite Ministries
  • Favorite Charities
  • Home
  • Favorite Books
  • Favorite Sports Games
  • Favorite Ministries
  • Favorite Charities